CRAZY (but Cute) THOUGHTS (BY KIDS)

CRAZY THOUGHTS (collected from KIDS)

1. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
2. Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.
3. Do penguins have knees?
4. Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
5. How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?
6. Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
7. In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?
8. Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
9. Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?
10. If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?
11. Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?
12. If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
13. If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?
14. If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?
15. Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"?
16. Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?
17. Can you cry underwater?
18. You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?
19. If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?
20. Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color?
21. If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
22. Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?
23. Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?
24. If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?
25. If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?
26. Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?
27. Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on?
28. How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time?
29. If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?
30. When the French swear do they say pardon my English?
31. Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head?
32. How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day?
33. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
34. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
35. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
36. Why do they call someone "late" if they died early?
37. Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast?
38. If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans?
39. If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family?
40. Why are red buttons always the most important?
41. How is chess considered a sport?
42. Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit?
43. If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to?
44. If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"?
45. If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs?
46. Would you die if you didn't pee?
47. Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man?
48. How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up.
49. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
50. When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they?
51. If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?
52. If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up?
53. Could you be a closet claustrophobic?
54. Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them?
55. If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes?
56. Where do all the daylight savings hours go?
57. Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?
58. What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror?
59. Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
60. Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?
61. How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? 
62. Why doesn't broccoli come in a can?
63. Can you slam a revolving door?
64. How young can you be, but still die of old age?
65. What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder?
66. Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils?
67. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? 
68. If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons?
69. What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card?
70. Can you read a picture book?
71. Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets?
72. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? 
73. Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism?
74. Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts!
75. If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror?
76. if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19?
77. What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8?
78. What shape is the sky?
79. If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead?
80. Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves?
81. If you have one eye .....are you blinking or winking ?
82. How come the Bible is the most stolen book, and one of the ten comandments is "thou shall not steal"? 
83. Why isn't the caps lock capitalized?
84. If there's a hole straight through the earth, from the south pole to the north pole, and you jump through it what would happen? would you keep falling forever, or fall back down when you get to the middle, or is it physically impossible?
85. If someone with a nostril ring takes it out, then blows their nose, do they have to cover that hole as well as their nostril holes so that snot does'nt blow out everywere?
86. Isn't it weird that if you rearange the word "teacher" you get "cheater"?
87. How come whenever you start to sing, you automatically sing in a higher voice than you talk?
88. How come people say they ate the last piece of gum, when they really just chew it?
89. If a pope goes to the bathroom, is it considered holy crap?
90. You know the saying "throw ya hands in the air like ya don't care"? why bother doing that if you dont care?
91. Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple?
92. If "Fantasy Island" really granted wishes, why wasn't Tattoo 6'6" ?
93. Why do water bottles have a "best if used by" date?
94. If you called the police station to talk to an officer and he was not there, would that be considered a cop out?
95. Can bald people get a hair line fracture?
96. Why do they put holes in crackers?
97. How come on TV the bell always rings and then the kids go to class, but in real life you need to be in class before the bell rings?
98. Why can the saying "it's all downhill from here." mean both that it will be easy and that it is going to get worse?
99. If all of ACME's products backfire, why does Wile E. Coyote keep buying them?
100. Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing?
101. If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach?
102. Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?
103. Does a baby feel the umbilical cord being cut off?
104. Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"?
105. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
106. If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads?
107. Why can't liquor freeze? 
108. If you dig a hole in the south pole are you digging up or down?
109. How come they don't add the time that we are in our mom's to our age?
110. Why do people squint their eyes when they can't see? Wouldn't that just make it less space to see out of?
111. What is a hacky, and why is it in a sack?
112. Who was in the kitchen with Dina?
113. Why do we have to pay a toll on "freeways"?
114. Why do they call them pepperoni if there is no pepper in it?
115. How old does something have to be to become an antique?
116. Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?
117. Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
118. Do babies produce more spit than adults?
119. How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?
120. Do cows have calf muscles?
121. Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not?
122. If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
123. If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?
124. Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?
125. If you died with braces on would they take them off?
126. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
127. Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?
128. Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
129. If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?
130. Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot?
131. Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?
132. Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?
133. How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
134. Have ex-punsters been expunged?
135. Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional?
136. Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?
137. Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?
138. Have ex-bankers become disinterested?
139. Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
140. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
141. After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
142. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
143. You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
144. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
145. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
146. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
147. Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
148. Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
149. Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
150. Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?
151. Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
152. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
153. Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
154. Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
155. Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
156. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
157. Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
158. Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
159. Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
160. Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?
161. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
162. If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them?
163. What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea?
164. Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?
165. Why are dandelions considered weeds when daisies are considered flowers?
166. Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?
167. Whenever an adult is kidnapped why isn't it called adultnapped?
168. Why do blacklights look purple?
169. Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, hat, town, or his pony Macaroni?
170. Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?